Spotted here and there amongst my flist, most recently [ profile] dbassassin, [ profile] akatnamedeaster, and [ profile] creascendo: When you see this, share 3 lines from each of 3 WIPs.

(In case you can't tell, I'm procrastinating, which I'm beginning to think is the arena in which I truly shine.)

1. Severus waits, unwilling to break the spell, as Harry's ephemeral presence circles him, rippling over, inside his skin, a ghost passing through as if he were a wall. It's Harry, he would swear to it before the Wizengamot, before the whole world, and when he closes his eyes the conviction grows so intense that he's not shocked when nonexistent lips touch his. Don't speak, they say, and the word "Harry" hangs suspended in the silence between them, glowing like a star.

2. Since she had no intention of delivering her next words to Rolanda whilst out of breath, Minerva said without breaking stride, "So. Now we're here, will you have me?"

She turned a keen glance at precisely the moment her companion dipped forward in shock and nearly forked herself broomstick-first into the bracken. Old hand that she was, Rolanda pulled up with reflexes so deft it was clear she'd barely registered her near-tumble, a simple twitch in the greater playbook of Quidditch moves.

3. Harry can tell when Snape bends forward, knows if he were to open his eyes, Snape's face would be right there, staring down at him with the devouring, contemptuous hunger that Harry can't seem to do without. He has a sudden image of himself suspended like a pendulum, blackness flapping, fading, Snape blurring in and out of view through banks of cloud, and he wishes he could have seen that. Could have seen how Snape fought the wind, how his magic kept them aloft, what the two of them looked like, bound together.

Observations: my sentences average out at rather too long, and I am a tad dramatic.
writcraft: (Default)

From: [personal profile] writcraft

This made me SO EXCITED :D

I want to read them all, right now <3

From: [identity profile]

Aw, thank you. <3 There's something about teasers like this that really pique my interest. All the excerpts posted by my flisties have made me greedy to gobble down their fics immediately, now now now. So many good writers in fandom, and so much pleasure to be shared. :D

From: [identity profile]

That's exactly what I wanted. It's meant to be a heartbreaking section in the fic, and I'm worried about over-egging it. Piled-on angst can be exhausting for the reader.

From: [identity profile]

I loved them all, but the last one blew me away. Snape's ability to fly minus the broomstick is one of my favourite canon tidbit.

Are any of these passages from the WIPs you've posted on AO3?

From: [identity profile]

Snape's ability to fly fascinates me, as does his apparent gift for creating new spells. Ditto his mastery of legilimency, which you'd think would give him an advantage, but which he never seems to use as I'd imagine a proper Slytherin would. In fact, the degree to which Snape doesn't use legilimency in the books is baffling, considering what a powerful tool it could be.

As for the excerpts - the first one will occur somewhere far, far along in "The Blood of Stars," at a point when it seems everything is lost. The third bit is from one of my favorite scenes in a long version I'm (theoretically) still working on of a fest fic I wrote a few years ago, "The Lost World." I've had the devil of a time finishing it, though. Something is wrong, and I can't get a handle on it. :/

(Sorry, I had to edit in a necessary word, because I've been committing typos in haste all over my posts and it's driving me mad.)
Edited Date: 2015-01-25 02:48 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile]

I feel at least part of the reason Snape doesn't use legilimency more often is that JKR felt she'd painted herself in a corner with this one, and simply ignored his ability when it would have derailed the story she was set on telling. Also some of Snape's prejudices and obstinacy may be at work. During the Shrieking Shack confrontation in PoA, for example, it would have been all too easy to know the truth by using legilimency, but he didn't want to know, he wanted revenge.

I've been holding off on reading your WIPs, because I'm not sure I could stand the state of emotional torment (in the good sense!) with no conclusion in sight. Also I owe you effluent praise for your other stories, and ought to write those comments first. In my defence, you leave me in such awe after the emotional storm of your storytelling that I hardly know how to respond.

(No need to apologise. Though your meaning was perfectly clear, I understand the impulse to correct every spotted typo.)

From: [identity profile]

I didn't know you wrote femmeslash(!). I suppose it speaks to how much I've moved away from HP that the Snarry wasn't what I immediately homed in on. :D

But the last one is lovely ("devouring, contemptuous hunger" - phwoar!). And yes, dramatic. But then it wouldn't be you if it wasn't; never apologise for your voice when you can come up with sentences like these.

From: [identity profile]

Well, yes, but I've never posted it. I'm shyer about my femmeslash than about the slash fic I write. It always seems inadequate, meaning so much less successful than what I set out to do. I really need to work on Minerva. I love what other writers have made of her, but I need to figure out who I think she is.

Part of the drama comes simply from writing Snape (although I'll cop to it, really it's mostly me). Intense!Snape is my favorite, and I tend to fling restraint to the winds when describing him. I'm too fond of narrative decadence to break myself of the habit; fortunately there's room in fandom for self-indulgence. :P

From: [identity profile]

Fandom is little more than self-indulgence, and thank god for that.

None of us are curing cancer here; it's just that sometimes our self-indulgences when shared strike chords with others, and out of that a fandom is born.

From: [identity profile]

If I wanted short sentences and a minimalism of drama I would be off reading Hemmingway, but as I am not... embrace it! I hear a variety in style for the reader is good for the soul.

Ah, all the bleakness of one, it can come to me any day. Angst on toast. Then there is three and knowing just how bound Snape is in that story, the longing for any freedom, let alone that freedom of flight. Even for Harry to just open his eyes and see him.

Two, well I would read anything you write and that looks intriguing.

From: [identity profile]

I suppose then it's fair to admit I'm decidedly not a Hemingway fan, although I can muster up a distant admiration for his short stories. We just don't get on, he and I. It's not because of his spareness, per se - I do lean more toward ornate or lavish prose, but I also love writers like Kawabata and Kafka and Marilynne Robinson. Hmm, perhaps those last are a balancing act of ornate sensibility served atop minimalist prose. Or perhaps I don't know what I'm talking about. :P

I'm always tickled that you share my affection for angst on toast. That first one - I'm trying to write a romantic Snarry, and here it's arguably the angstiest thing I've ever done. Granted, the story's romantic sensibility saves the day, I hope without knocking everyone out of character too badly. But I'm not sure how far I'd call it a happy ending.

Ah, excerpt number three - that's one of my two favorite scenes in the fic, I think because I found the perfect image for all the things Snape can't say to Harry, while at the same time burdening them both with the illusion of freedom. Which they know is an illusion. Or at least Snape does.

Hm, I just had a thought. You're aware of my problems with The Lost World, long version (I just typed The Long World, which, um, yeah). I was just thinking idly about how much I make Snape suffer, and it reminded me, Rose & Fire fic notwithstanding, that I have qualms about making bad things happen to Harry, about fucking up Harry's life. I can justify it if the suffering leads to something he wants, something that rescues him from a defeated sort of life. But in The Lost World, I'm not sure I've convinced myself, or made a case, for Harry choosing Snape over - well, everything else. Their joint fate is tragic because they outlive everything but each other and are denied the rest of the world. Which seems particularly cruel and undeserved for Harry.

Must ponder how to fix this. Later, that is, when I'm not working on two WsiP, a fest fic, and a potential new community at the same time.

From: [identity profile]

I don't dislike Hemingway for his prose style, but rather for his reduction of everything to particular tropes and types of people (the Hero). There is some rather beautiful prose, but the content drives me up the wall. I much prefer his short stories and more diary-esque writing. At least the latter is scurrilous. Kawabata is someone I love deeply, but I would say the under current to his work (in a completely inappropriate turn of phrase) is Byzantine. The emotions contained in the prose are enormous in size and often times furious and deformed. So much so I almost always forget it is minimalist. Well that and I suspect in Japanese there are more layers of meaning in the characters and indirect citation. Actually.. that is what I love about minimalism, but also about more baroque styles ... one you go hunting for the vast, the other you find the tiny in all the glorious sound and fury.

Then again I am making things up too :P

Very rarely can I stomach romance without angst and that just seems to be something about my relationship to romance in general. I don't really need or want the escapism of happily ever after or the sweetness of pure fluff. If I can't have a densely complex reality, with all its dissatisfaction and boredom, then the nearest I can find tends to be angst ... especially as emotional exploration for these two leans that way. Even as a child I would read the worst case scenario into any story I had .. and would love it. I look forward to a compromised ending of relative bittersweetness. :)

It is the Long World in all the best sense.

I suspect also that there is also some sort of clash going on between the overall metaphors of the stories that makes it hard to actually justify Harry's choice. The fate of Snape in TLW is so much outside of his control and in the end Harry also partly has the choice taken out of his hands through the compelling/addictive nature of it all as well as a big act of love. Part of the imagery though for the story is Snape as the snake in the garden of Eden, which implies a choice based on knowledge and a sacrifice of Eden (for Harry, the world) .. and this clash of choice and loss of freedom is what makes it ridiculously tragic but also hampers the case for Harry without him being bound there against his will. On the other hand the world you build in the Lost world is hardly without its charms, even for social Harry. Perhaps you need to make Harry's world a bit more dystopian.

I am in awe. I can barely manage to sort out stuff over here. And dammit.. it is two am!!! Grah. Bed.

From: [identity profile]

I just need to finish it! And you know how that goes. :P It was meant to be a gift for Kelly, and then it started mutating into a much longer fic, and I dug my heels in. Now I have to trim it back and come up with a workable ending. That's all. Argh.

From: [identity profile]

Yes, I certainly know how that goes. (: Funny! I outlined a story as gift!fic for Kelly but didn't manage to actually write it. I don't mind that one bit now since I took a look at that outline and realised I had written it while far too tired. :P

Ouch, endings are hard. What is 'much longer fic'? :D *Gets excited.*

From: [identity profile]

This is fun! I like your sentences, even if they are long & dramatic XD

From: [identity profile]

Thanks! I just don't have the knack for clean, direct prose, but I've mostly made my peace with it.

From: [identity profile]

These were breathtaking. Number 1 was eerie but I was still clambering to read more. Really beautiful job. I was reading The White Road and Elegy for a Goat on your AO3 just now and was absolutely blown away. I hope you don't mind me friending you - I would really love to keep up with your work and your recent entries regarding fandom discussion really piqued my interest.

From: [identity profile]

*beams* Thank you so much! I'm having a trying time of it over here in real life, and your lovely comment on an older journal entry came as a delightful surprise.

Please, friend away! I'm a very erratic presence lately so I can't promise much content, but I'm always happy to have new friends. Also, I'm going to do my best to get the discussion comm up and running in the next couple of days. Feel free to join in. :)


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