Okay, so it's been months and months, and I've worked myself into a corner where I feel shy about sticking my nose back into fandom. Apologies for my last few appearances, because I haven't exactly covered myself with glory in the friendship department. I meant to answer all comments! Truly I did! All the support and love really mattered and really did help. But I haven't been equal to the occasion, and it was all part of the process of becoming a nonentity.

Life is: a) not worth talking about, 2) occurring mostly behind a grey curtain where my job consumes the best part of me, and 3) a bit like being on a lemming wheel (yes, I'm mixing those metaphors on purpose). It's better than it was a year ago. It has potential. But it's still 90% drudgework and insecurity. but still. Better.

In related news, I haven't written anything in ages. I haven't finished anything in even longer. I barely read anymore. I've lost contact with friends. This is driving me frickin' nuts. Enough with the greyness. I think I've regained enough of my brain and my curiosity and imagination that I might be able to scrape off the rust and revive various unfinished projects.

Sooo … I'm here, quite self-centeredly, to ask for a beta. A beta for a smut fic. A Snarry smut fic, to be precise. I wish it were something more complex and interesting! But I'm not ready to pick up the layered or long-running storylines yet. For me, writing is like exercise: I lose the strength, the endurance, the muscle memory if I'm away from it for too long. I've been fiddling around, trying to bulldoze my way through the re-entry phase of unmitigated crap. To refamiliarize myself with the feel and shape of words. To remember the characters.

The fic? Well, it's a PWP, over 8000 words so far, and very close to completion. It has no redeeming value. Or none beyond the porn and my desire to jump back on the fannish broom. I want to break my writer's block, damn it, and I would be infinitely grateful if someone were to volunteer their services to help push me over the finish line. If anyone is doubtful about the content, feel free to ask!

How is everyone? I've been in and out of the loop, and I missed Leviosa and, well, everything. Any important highlights? News, good or bad? Misery really is a monster of selfishness, and I haven't yet sat down to backread my flist. That's up next, after a quick saunter to the grocer's.
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