Brief mea culpa )

In related news, I haven't written anything in ages. I haven't finished anything in even longer. I barely read anymore. I've lost contact with friends. This is driving me frickin' nuts. Enough with the greyness. I think I've regained enough of my brain and my curiosity and imagination that I might be able to scrape off the rust and revive various unfinished projects.

Sooo … I'm here, quite self-centeredly, to ask for a beta. A beta for a smut fic. A Snarry smut fic, to be precise. I wish it were something more complex and interesting! But I'm not ready to pick up the layered or long-running storylines yet. For me, writing is like exercise: I lose the strength, the endurance, the muscle memory if I'm away from it for too long. I've been fiddling around, trying to bulldoze my way through the re-entry phase of unmitigated crap. To refamiliarize myself with the feel and shape of words. To remember the characters.

The fic? Well, it's a PWP, over 8000 words so far, and very close to completion. It has no redeeming value. Or none beyond the porn and my desire to jump back on the fannish broom. I want to break my writer's block, damn it, and I would be infinitely grateful if someone were to volunteer their services to help push me over the finish line. If anyone is doubtful about the content, feel free to ask!

How is everyone? I've been in and out of the loop, and I missed Leviosa and, well, everything. Any important highlights? News, good or bad? Misery really is a monster of selfishness, and I haven't yet sat down to backread my flist. That's up next, after a quick saunter to the grocer's.
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( Nov. 18th, 2012 06:37 pm)
So, I feel a bit embarrassed about this, as I've been more or less forced by circumstance to step out of the river of fandom and stand on the bank watching everyone go by. It's been a turbulent year, and I've managed very little in the way of posting or commenting. That's why I'm writing a form of handwringing here, because it feels like coming cap in hand to ask whether anyone is available to do a favor for me.

I need a beta.

For this year's [livejournal.com profile] snapecase fest, I wrote The Lost World, which just barely squeezed in under the word count limit at about 11K. It wasn't quite the story I wanted to tell, because I had to leave out a lot, and my imagination fell under the fairy tale influence and didn't want to let go. I've been working on an extended version ever since. Unfortunately (as it turned out), I signed up for the severus_harry big bang, took 10,000 words of another languishing fic, turned it into 65K, and ended up with a horrible mess on my hands that I detested so much I haven't been able to contemplate salvaging the damn thing. So I defaulted on the fest (sorry, Accio and Torino!). Then life sat on me for a while and effectively squashed any aspirations I had to write or even think.

In short, my fic-writing quota for the year has been miserable.

I desperately want to finish The Lost World before the year ends. It's approaching 45,000 words, and I'm probably 2,000 words from completing a second-to-last draft. I could use a push, the encouragement to concentrate. Mostly, though, I need someone who's willing to read 45K words of rather odd Snarry and tell me whether it works or whether my impulse to turn this modest fic into a longer, weirder fairy tale has damaged an idea too fragile to support its bloated size.

Don't get me wrong. I like this fic. I'm just too close to it to judge things like balance and proportion and metaphorical coherence.

I know people are incredibly busy, but would anyone be available to give that sort of feedback? I'll finish the fic regardless. I've just got it in my head right now that I want to post it -- post something -- before the end of December, and to do that I need a kick in the butt.

ETA: SORTED! Thank you! :D
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