Hello, flisties! Here I sit in front of my computer, trying not to hack up a lung. I've been sick for over a week and am so entirely fed up with coughing that I want to throttle myself. Needless to say, phlegm and fever do not lead to being a creative genius, so I'm behind on my latest fic, the other fic, the other other fic, and about 15 different replies to posts. (Sorry, anyone who's left me a comment recently - it's not you, it's me.)

Fun fact: I've just worked (not counting Christmas) 150 days in a row. This is one of those little drawbacks of being your own boss they don't emphasize nearly enough. However, I'm masochistically proud of this statistic, because I didn't actually know if I had it in me. In reality, I'm a lazy sod. I suspect there are another 150 similar days ahead of me before I can even think of hiring a part-timer one day a week. Also, much to my chagrin, I've never acquired the essential life skill of taking vacations - my last one was Crone Manor in Florida, for which I've never sufficiently thanked the person/people who made that possible. (Many, many, many thanks, my lovely and generous, witty and talented friends!)

So I'm tired, and I miss being outside.

But I'll tell you what: even working until I'm stupid with exhaustion, my life is 150% better than it used to be. Not perfect - my beloved 17-year-old cat died on March 1st, and I'm still grieving her and looking for her every time I come home (so I often work late to put off coming home); the store still isn't making enough to pay my living expenses; and my writing time has effectively shrunk to half an hour a week, therefore that part of my brain is deteriorating at a rapid clip.

But still. Better. So very much better.

(There's also the disgusting political nightmare in which the U.S. is currently embroiled, but we'll draw a discreet veil of silence over that.)

Now the real reason for this post:

The [community profile] snape_potter community started posting its annual Snarry-a-thon, and the fest opened with a story (which I haven't read yet) and a work of art, which is what inspired me to post today. The picture can be interpreted as shippy or not, depending on your fannish lens, and it takes as its subject Snape's death in the Shrieking Shack - although the prompt provides hope of rescue.

It's a luminous work, with a subdued but striking color palette. The figures are rendered with great tenderness, Harry kneeling and Snape sprawled out on the floor, supported in Harry's arms. I recognize the artist's style, and this is one of their most moving pieces, after years of drawing a portfolio of Snapes. The emotion in it is quiet but intense, and the overall effect is one of beauty, even peace. The way Snape's night-black robes take up half the frame is like a visual metaphor for him turning - or being lifted away - from death. I'd recommend it to anyone, regardless of their opinion of Snape/Harry. Whatever you may see in it, it undeniably contains a moment of connection imbued with pain and surrender and gentleness.

The Last Memory
delphi: (Default)

From: [personal profile] delphi

First off, my condolences for your loss and a major sympathetic shudder of exhaustion for your working streak - but I am so, so glad that things are overall going better. I hope this upward trend just continues to continue and that you have time and energy for even more of the things that make you happy. *hugs*

Also, thank you for the rec! What a great piece.
delphi: (Default)

From: [personal profile] delphi

Oh, goodness - I shouldn't laugh about the shirt, but the way you tell it at least made me chuckle. I can relate. This past year I've worn mismatched shoes to work twice and mislaid my umbrella more times than I can count (which, in the Pacific Northwest, is about on par with forgetting a shirt). I don't care for the phenomenon, but my last bit of time off suggests that the damage is reversible with sufficient sloth.

The picture of your path to work made me smile and wish I was there. I enjoy my own on-foot commute, even if my workplace is in a bit of a rough spot. It's just a short walk for me, about fifteen minutes, but that's the perfect amount of time to psych myself up for the day ahead or, more importantly, try to let go of work when I leave. It's that time of year, in between the overcast days of winter and the haze of summer, when you can actually see the Olympic mountains to the south. Having grown up with mountains that were really just big tree-covered hills, I never get tired of seeing proper snow-capped peaks in the distance when I point myself home.

And no worries about silences. Hearing from you always makes my day, but I also completely understand the limits of space and time and energy. I'm making an effort not to fall of the map again any time soon, and I'll be around whenever physics allow for conversation.
tetleythesecond: (Default)

From: [personal profile] tetleythesecond

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, and I can understand so well the impulse to put off coming home.

Your work streak sounds exhausting, positive stress here or there. Do promise this fellow self-employed person that as soon as it is possible without adding up to more stress the day after, you will take an entire day off in which you do something you enjoy, preferably outside, and that makes you think of something completely different for the whole day. Consider it an investment if "taking a vacation" doesn't come easily to you. And it is. Best to ward off negative stress before it arises.

So glad that your beautiful shop gives you joy!
dogandmonkeyshow: (Default)

From: [personal profile] dogandmonkeyshow

I'm so glad to hear the decision to take on the shop was the right one for you, even while I shudder at the prospect of working five months without a day off. A true labour of love!
kelly_chambliss: (Default)

From: [personal profile] kelly_chambliss

So sorry to hear about your cat, my dear; it's hard to part with family members.

I'm glad, though, that your life is improving and that the store is stable. As Tetley says, a day off sounds like a necessary investment at this point, but at least you're doing something you love.

The world terrifies me at present: what are essentially far-right coups in the US, Poland, Hungary, the Philippines, Italy, Turkey; serious political threats in Canada and Brazil; the UK and Germany also at risk, not to mention authoritarian power grabs in China and elsewhere; the continuing destruction of the planet; the ever-increasing racial, gender, and economic inequality, the relentless erosion of even the veneer of democracy. . .well, these are dark times. I'm waiting for some kid with a scar to come and save us.

Meanwhile, I will lose myself in pleasures such as HP fic and art. Thank you for the link.
pir8fancier: (Default)

From: [personal profile] pir8fancier

So sorry to hear about your kitty. Have been there with a very special cat and it's so hard. Also, do you need more books or do you have enough to handle?
pir8fancier: (Default)

From: [personal profile] pir8fancier

Animals are a type of time stamp, aren't they. I remember going through a terrible patch (right when I got into fandom ironically enough--or not so ironically!--really grim when I'd be crying while driving to and from work, and I'd walk into the house wondering what in the HELL I was going to make for dinner, and there would be my big goofy yellow lab so full of love and ridiculously happy to see me, capering all over the hallway and licking every possible inch of my hands. It was, often, the high point of my day. So, yes, I do understand.

Hopefully M comes home tomorrow. His spirits have been ridiculously upbeat up until now, but there is often a high and then a low with this sort of physical whammy. All I can do is roll with the punches. He cannot be left alone for a bit while he recovers, so my great plans for inundating you with books might have to wait a while. This will give me some time to cull further. I don't mind driving up to see you.


perverse_idyll: (Default)

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